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Madison Howard

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losttree76

2023-06-14 06:19:57

Wife of 14 years (married 9) cheating

losttree76

2023-06-08 17:28:18

Cheating Spouse

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Thanks for all the great replies, you are all right. I need to find the strength to get rid of her.

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Sure. 😂 As I said: To each their own. Just weird to see the same complaints from so many people again and again, and total resistance to learn from reality.

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I felt like I’m the one putting in the effort in this relationship, I work, I look after the kids I enable her to have hobbies etc and a life outside of our marriage. Doing all of that she always had my trust. I always gave her affection and love and made an effort. I’ve realise that not much was ever returned. I have tried to talk and discuss our concerns, but when you live with someone that blames the world for things that are wrong in their life and that they could change what are you supposed to do!?

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Wow this comment. This reminds me of so many things. My mom is a narcissist, went through a divorce once with my dad when I was 5, and is essentially on the verge of going through a divorce with my stepdad (for the last 2 years). I'm happy to be able to see my dad from time to time, although I have only been able to see him once every 2-3 months. My stepdad (just like my mom) struggles to show any emotion or affection at all (no one-to-one talks, no praise; not even a hug, unless I awkwardly initiate it lol). The only times he talks to/about me is when my mom is criticizing me (which she does everyday lmao) and he joins in. I told him once that I found it very sad and unfortunate that we don't talk together, support each other and have a connection, especially since we face the same crazy narcissism of my mother. He is a bit socially weird/autistic as well, which is probably why my attempts at doing anything (like trying to talk to him, showing some affection, or helping him with work) did not work. Or at least I perceive it that way since he never says that he likes or appreciates something, but rather hurts you by cutting you off or being overly dominant over you in discussions. My own ass has ADHD and some other weird quirks, so I don't have many friends either. Oh and the crazy things my mother has done to me psychologically... I could write on and on. I'm introverted anyway, so the isolation is not too bad for me, but the emotional deprivation is really getting to me. I wish I had a truly ''loving'', intact and stable household. People really don't know how much that means.

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Stay strong and look after yourself, try and find other people to support you other than family. I get this, I’ve been there. Isolating is ok and you think it’s ok for a long time until you realise it’s not, you need some interactions even if it’s just a hug from a friend. I know it’s a lot of effort but get out and be with people and do things, build your friends network. Also it may help to talk to a therapist to help you understand and process all of the “family” stuff.

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