Lonely/ Emotional affair partner,more

I’m nervous to post here but looking for advice. I’m a stay at home mom and married to my husband and have 3 kids under the age of 10. He is emotionally unavailable, doesn’t have many emotional needs. I’m attractive, a warm kind and fun person. He doesn’t really want to work on marriage and I’ve begged and asked him to do marriage counseling. I’m so lonely and trapped because I don’t have great family support. I feel like I’m failing as a mom. I had an emotional affair last year w an old high school classmate but it was long distance and it ended - my husband didn’t care. He told me for years he doesn’t care if I cheat on him - it’s not something I asked for at all bc that is my last option. But I’m at the place where I’m just desperate for physical and emotional connection. I’m not looking for a fling but maybe hoping to find a man who is trapped In a similar situation w kids an emotionally unavailable partner who is looking for real genuine connection and other things that come with it. I’m not sure if that even exists out there on how to find an open affair partner like that . Ideally I wish there was a dad in my local community I could find but I have no ways in knowing how to start to find someone like that.😞