Consent in VNC (SPOILERS?)

Okay, I KNOW I'm not the only one who is at least mildly uncomfortable with how consent is portrayed in VNC. In episode 3, Vanitas traps Jeanne and kisses her after she already surrendered because Vanitas said Noe would k1ll Luca (he wouldn't have and didn't even know Vanitas said that). I understand that they're trying to k1ll each other so that's already pretty bad but she already gave up, that moment felt like unnecessary overk1ll. Also when Noe had to suck Amelia's blood to see her memories, he licked her arm first without warning which felt unnecessary but not as outright bad. Even when Dominique put a collar on Noe without explanation, that was a bit odd too. There are great moments with Jeanne×Vanitas and Domi×Noe but it's hard for me to ship them when there are some shifty actions done by them. I don't know how to feel honestly. I want to enjoy cute romances and good story but like how do you move on??