Am I ever gonna get better?

Almost 5 months post-sepsis and I still feel as exhausted as the day I left the hospital. My life now is just lying in bed. Sleeping is hard and waking up in the morning is hard.

I’m losing my long & short term memory. Everything feels so weird and foggy. I’m scared this is just my life now

My heart rate is still so high I’ve seen a cardiologist. I take medication to manage it. My heart is fine but my blood isn’t. My hemoglobin & white blood cells are off.

I barely have an appetite and I’ve lost 10lbs in a couple weeks. I don’t really have much interest in anything actually. Everything is just too exhausting and my muscles hurt just from walking. I can’t lift anything without almost passing out.

Im waiting on my blood work results and I can’t stop catastrophizing.