Alphalete: The Brand That Can’t Stop Failing

Welcome to another disaster class from Alphalete: The Art of Running a Brand Straight Into The Ground. Today’s disaster? Their BOGO sale, where you could add 10,278 pairs of joggers (their entire stock) to your cart for FREE. That’s over half a million dollars ($555,000) in damages because clearly, no one in their team understands BASIC Shopify/Web.

https://reddit.com/link/1hajit4/video/ityinly1vv5e1/player

https://reddit.com/link/1hajit4/video/7pyqlry4vv5e1/player

But wait—it gets worse. Remember their Black Friday sale? Their website didn’t just crash—it exploded, leaving thousands stranded. Those lucky enough to place an order? Weeks later, still no updates. Meanwhile, instead of fixing the mess, they had the audacity to drop new products now—because their design team is just as incompetent as the rest of the operation, constantly missing deadlines and forcing customers to wait while they scramble to catch up.

And the CEO, Christian Guzman? He’s too busy flexing his shiny new mansion on social media and crying on YouTube about how hard it is to run a business, fishing for sympathy like he’s the victim, while his customers sit in silence, completely screwed over. The arrogance to flaunt luxury and whine online while your company burns in a dumpster fire of unfulfilled orders and broken trust is next-level. Maybe spend less time chasing your gym pumps and duct-taping failures, and more time building a competent team. Just a thought, Christian—your brand is cooked. I honestly feel bad for some of their influencers, who are stuck enduring Alphalete’s endless failures while watching their own brands and trust get flushed down the toilet.

Here’s a free pro tip for Alphalete: Stop embarrassing yourselves and your brand. Fire the yes-men, get the CEO to step down, stop cheaping out, and actually invest in people with expertise who can do the job. Until then, keep living in the failure you’ve built for yourself. It’s entertaining for the rest of us, at least :)