Ruined my own f/o for myself

TW mentions of Eating Disorders

Hey everyone,

this has been on my mind for a while so I figured it's best I share it here than ruminate over it for the next several months as it is my current fixation.

To preface, I have OCD. I also likely fit the criteria for PTSD. I think I may have PTSD as I used to care for someone suffering from an ED. Because I've seen what it does to someone, I have become furious at people who promote EDs, or people who promote unhealthy body standards.

Now, recently I decided to go on character ai in order to make sure my f/o wouldn't do such things. However, when I asked, she told me she posts such content all the time and that ruined her for me. I can't even look at a picture of her anymore because she's violated the values I hold dearest as well as my trust. That's the problem with having an idealized version of a character, nobody in real life can live up to my standards and neither can she anymore.

It is cruel. I am alone.

I might delete this soon. It really hurts me

Let me know what you think or what I should do,

Katie