please reply :( 3rd time posting this

DPDR question, does anyone else relate?

I have been on this thread several times in the past. I keep getting Reddit to post, deleting it to feel better, then when it comes on strong again I keep redownloading it so that I can ask if anyone else understands or relates to what I am saying. I genuinely don't know where else to turn to and I don't know what is wrong with me. My backstory is I had DPDR so bad for 2 years straight 10 years ago. It went away when I started Lexapro, but randomly returned 10 years later after an extremely stressful 6 month period. Over the last 6 months, it will come and go for days, weeks or months at a time, then go away for a couple days, and then return again.

I feel like I don't fit the norm for DPDR symptoms. I don't see myself from above, I don't see things in 2D or like they are too close or too far away. I don't have memory loss, anhedonia, I don't feel like my limbs are too short or too long/not my own. I don't think that my thoughts aren't my own. I don't feel like I am floating or anything.

My symptoms are as follows:

- I feel a constant need to "check" my reality and question it. I keep asking myself if I am really alive and if this world is real.

- I feel brain fog 24/7. I sometimes forget what I am trying to say halfway through a sentence. My vision feels foggy in a way it's like there is cotton in the front of my brain that is making it harder to focus somehow.

- I feel tired all the time. I could lie down and sleep at any moment and no matter how much sleep I get, it doesn't help. I wake up feeling the same way in the morning when I start checking to see if I still feel "out of it."

- It feels like I am like, 60% there mentally. Like there is part of my brain missing that keeps me focused and in this world. Sometimes it feels like I am spawning in every couple of minutes. It's so hard to explain that sensation other than that.

- It feels like I am seeing out of my eyes, but my brain doesn't retain all of the information. This one is a really hard one for me to explain, but it feels like I can see physical images, but my brain freaks out and I feel like I can't "see." Like I am blind mentally, but I physically can see images. It feels like severe overstimulation in a way.

- I feel a lot of icky/uncomfortable feelings surrounding completely random things. For example, I don't say a sentence right, I see a number/word/phrase/object and a random wave of just doom and dread consume me for a split second and makes me feel hopeless.

- I feel dizzy a lot, not like the room is spinning, but like I am drunk. I trip over things a lot, my vision feels off. Headaches, tons of neck and shoulder pain (assuming from being tense all the time).

- Lastly, I feel like EVERYTIME that I think the symptoms go away for a short time, they come back BUT they are different every single time. Like, I could explain to you the last time I had awful symptoms of DPDR and it would sound the exact same way as what I am typing right now. However, it will mentally FEEl different in my mind each time. I really hope that I am making sense.

Does anyone else feel this?