I am so freaking sick of the self-righteous perfect parents everyone is on Reddit.

And on Instagram and everywhere else people congregate.

This has been building inside me for awhile but for some reason the Parenting post about needing to vacuum dirt/crumbs from kids’ feet out of the bed finally pushed me over the edge.

No matter the topic, you know the top 80 comments are going to be some variation of, “No. WE never have this problem. WE have our lives together. WE do not ALLOW this in our home. WE have no issues with this. WE have no issues at all.”

The one that got to me just before this was regarding parenting when sick, I currently am recovering from horrific food poisoning and scrolled through like 50 comments of “I had a 110° fever and cooked breakfast, packed lunches, cleaned the house top to bottom before my husband wrestled me onto couch and forcibly took my temperature. It’s just what a mother does, you buck up.” or “I threw up 76 times per day my whole pregnancy and worked 60 hours a week on my feet, went to night school, cared for my special needs child, and crocheted thoughtful handmade masterworks for each of my loved ones, it sucked but I wouldn’t dream of not fulfilling my obligations.” I’m in the hospital right now literally advised to not be home but reading these things makes me feel so bad 😭 I know my baby misses me….

Oh yeah and then there’s screen time. No one on reddit does any screen time before age 5. Their comments always come across to me as written in a particular stern disapproving tone. “WE absolutely do not do screen time for our toddler. It is not hard. Instead we do playdough or water play.” Like i kind of get it because i hardly did screens with my first and it didn’t seem that hard, but now my 4th baby is 1.5 and im just swamped half the time & she watches way too much 😭

OH AND THEN theres the leaving your child. Husband and I left toddlers 1&3 with my mom and went on vacation for a week for my birthday. We have date nights every week. We take long weekends a couple times a year. But no. Not so for the überparents of Reddit, who finally accept a babysitter for an evening when their child turns 12 or whatever.

Where tf are the parents who are awesome parents with thriving kids we have a ton of fun with but who also have dirty crumbs on their floors, let things slide, don’t follow all recommendations to the letter, etc. I assume they’re all too intimidated to comment because nobody i know except for Type A people with one child and household support live the way ALL Reddit parents live.

End rant.