Need some comfort

I'm feeling awful right now, I feel like I can't be loved or liked by anyone because I am autistic.

I don't know. I am having a fight with my boyfriend once again because I had a meltdown. He's horrible with them and he feels like it's not his business if I get them, but then when I am depressed or moody afterwards, he takes it as an offense and we start fighting.

So my meltdowns usually consist of the meltdown itself and then isolating myself and feeling either nervous, depressed or angry.

We were trying to brainstorm a creative project, and I haven't eaten today ( it was around 8pm ) and I felt like it was not going well, which ended up in a meltdown. I calmed myself down and came back to try to come up with something, but as I was still a bit moody, I may have expressed my frustration a little too much, and I know I did wrong.

But I don't know if me or my boyfriend is wrong in what happened next. My boyfriend said that I can be pissed about the project alone, and not to say that it's his fault ( I never said it's his fault ) and he said that I wasn't even trying with the project.

I got upset and scared because of how angry he was, and started saying sorry, and that I want to make up for him for my behavior. My boyfriend started calling me self-centered and selfish, and was saying how I am never happy. Angrily, he is very angry with me right now, and won't talk to me.

So I am just wondering what did I do wrong? I know I was annoying for being audibly frustrated, but I feel like I can't be loved if I show any emotions because my emotions are selfish. I don't know, I am just crying so much right now and I feel very lonely and hopeless.

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Edit: Realized a better title would have been, something about if it's me who is in the wrong and I am just not seeing it. Sorry for the confusing post