Where they right or were they abliest?

Years ago, I made a "am I the asshole" post and got shit for it. I don't know if it was actually a correct "you were the asshole" statement though.

I understand that I may have been the asshole on this but I want a opinion, if I was weaponizing my autism on this one, I will say that I was 13 at the time so I was more immature. My post was asking if I was the asshole for throwing a fit at my grandma's house during Christmas. I'll just type out the situation here and then say what the overall response was from people.

My brother is seen as "more autistic" than me, this isn't new but it hasn't always been like this. When I was younger, like a infant to the age of 6, I was the "more autistic kid".

This was because, during that time, my birth father (who is in jail now) was physically abusive and neglectful towards me and my siblings.

This caused me to have meltdowns a lot, it caused me to be aggressive and, this isn't related to the ||abuse|| but I also was insanely oblivious to social cues in my youth due to my autism.

Like once my parents told me to get into the bath and they'd be there in a minute so I sat in the filled bath with clothes on because I wasn't told to take them off for example.

What was a reaction to that hostile environment was seen as my autism. I was seen as a more "difficult child" during that time, this is a term I don't really agree with but I was called it quite a lot.

As I grew older and my father was imprisoned, my "autistic traits" withered away because they weren't actually autistic traits but rather trauma responses. This caused my brother to take on the role of a "difficult child" because I wasn't "difficult" anymore

Then the situation I was asking about happened (I gave this context in the post as well) it was Christmas and I was at my grandma's house opening presents.

My brother has had a reputation of reacting poorly to presents he didn't like, this was something he grew out of but at the time, he would have meltdowns if he didn't like something because he felt they didn't care about him enough to get something he wanted.

I never really liked what my grandma got me either, it was always something I wouldn't ever use.

But, instead of having a meltdown like my brother did, I would pretend I liked it. I reffered to this as "masking" because I was faking a reaction and it was mentally taxing for me to do so due to my reputation of squealing, hugging the thing I got and stimming a lot whenever I did like something. I basically faked that with things I didn't like and no one noticed.

On this Christmas though, my brother started having a meltdown and I really didn't like my gift so I did too. I threw a fit over it and, while my actions were genuine, I got shit for it in the car ride home.

Also, my brother never got any criticism for his reactions before this, it was only when I threw a fit with him that we both got a punishment.

I thought that my reaction wasn't justified when I posted it, I was asking if I was being a bad person for my reaction based on the context or if I just reacted poorly to a poor situation.

And in response, everyone called me a spoiled brat and said that "that isn't masking, that's called not being a bad person"

And I still don't know if they were right about it