I was recently diagnosed, and I'm already tired of all this - how can you all do it?

I'm sorry for the rant, I just want to let it out and hopefully hear some words of encouragement.

One year ago I started showing some symptoms of UC, at the time I let it go for a couple of weeks until I decided to go to the doctors, by chance I had salmonella during that time so we treated for both.

All symptoms disappear, and I was happy, went on a one-month trip on the other side of the world and nothing happened, so I thought it was all good and done.

Came back home and after a month I started to develop some symptoms again and 6 months ago I was diagnosed, we started treatment and didn't work, so now we are trying to see what does, but I'm SO TIRED of this, tired of going to the doctors because medication is not working, tired of having blood and mucus on my stool, tired of always feeling like I need to take a shit but then just some little things come out.

And I didn't even lose weight! At least I could have had that but no!

My doctor said that this just shows up and that actually it's more common on ex-smokers and I shit you not I had stopped smoking after 10 years 3 months before the symptoms, so I just fucking hope it was not because of that because honestly I rather had kept smoking if it meant I didn't have this!

I'm basically 6 months in, and I'm sick entire of this bullshit, I cannot understand how you all do it. I just feel like I want to stop all medication and from now on I just shit blood and accept that.

I hate this!