my abuser is better off than me.

mentally, socially, financially, every possible way.

i’m a loser which probably contributed to the police not giving a shit.

i’m going to be penniless when my time comes. i won’t be able to find love because they ruined it for me, and i destroyed my mind and body trying to cope.

i just wish it could’ve happened and i moved on. i hate that the trauma of this makes me feel as though i’m constantly reliving it.

it physically pains me. i’m exhausted and haven’t been able to do anything but sleep and eat. even failing at that sometimes.

when i was in the ICU i kept thinking about how they get to live such an amazing life with a loving partner while i rotted in the hospital thinking about how utterly screwed i was.

nobody would ever believe me or care. the fiancé didn’t. no lawyer will see that a crime has taken place because they wiped all evidence that pointed to that conclusion.

God, I just wish someone could just save me from this nightmare. I just wish i was dreaming and that i could be away from this situation.