I have sleep paralysis on the next level

So I started having sleep paralysis a few years ago, when I started taking antidepressants. At first, it was just like everyone else sees it. You can’t move, there’s a buzzing sound, etc. But more recently, it shaped into something new. It’s like it evolves with every new iteration. Now I can’t move, just like before, but that only lasts for like 2 seconds, then I can move but the gravity feels 20x stronger than normal. I’m always in my room. The weird thing is, the ONLY way I can escape from this experience is if I go to the balcony and jump, in result killing myself. Then I wake up. I wouldn’t call it a dream, because it’s so vivid it’s unimaginable. Every texture, my bed, the carpet, metal, feels more real than even reality. Does anyone else ever experienced this, or is it just me?