My life
My entire life I’ve been treated like an outsider, a predator, and psycho, a killer, an abuser, a rapist, it doesnt matter which.
Once you’re marked especially at a young age you get throw. In to that paradigm. I am not trying to create a sexist paradigm here so let me be clear - men dislike me because they find me weird or awkward, they are just disgusted because I exist, but women have always HATED me.
They always get uncomfortable around me because they can sense I’m paranoid and afraid, I hold a lot of shame due to my past abuse and they assume I must have done something wrong, after all you know how men are right?
in my teens and early 20s I was committed to athletics and it was always women in my age group - thin, attractive, middle class women who had privilege I couldnt dream of , acting that my very presence made them uncomfortable. Spreading rumours about me , one time even had a warning from a public gym that my clothes stunk because a few women from a spin class didn’t like me and were alwa giving me bad looks.
i habe been accused of rape and sexual assault 3 times, the first time I had sex I was falsely accused , but if you ask anyone that never happens. Even reading this women will just assume that where there’s smoke there’s fire.
when I was younger and even now in life but less so, people other than me appeared to be gods. After I tried 4o kill myself in my 20s I was institutionalized and my therapist who was a young a feminist psychotherapist was frustrated with me because I didn’t remember certain abuse and instead wanted to talk about other things , which was seen by her as condescending.
when I have tried to speak about my ideas I get ignored or treated like shit. When I try to engage with others sexually I have never had a problem but it isn’t real or authentic it’s always just been a show and fake. I can’t do that anymore.
The more I’ve tried in life to build myself up the more it’s been specifically women who have attacked or tried to break me down in some way. The amount of direct and indirect spite I’ve experienced is staggering and I am really tired of having to pretend otherwise.
Ive noticed that for some women their guilty consciences catch up with them and they begin to “fear all men”, I know some men are horrible to women but I will say this - for the guys who can’t fit in to society or try and ate constantly treated like shit just for existing , as I have been , the majority of this social enforcement comes from women who are simply uncomfortable and expect that to be taken care of (entitlement).
no one will ever allow thus to be true, but just like men pressure women to sex, this social game where women complain about patriarchy but then absolutely destroy any man they deem beneath them should be undeniable.
Women complaining about patriarchy and men are the exact same ones treating men with disgust and disdain and those men are going and fucking killing themselves, but it means nothing to the women who spout that shit and see them as useless.