Have you ever felt like this?

For starters I'm not diagnosed (Not really in a place where I can be), but I've been reading up on it and I see a lot of the signs in myself. I experience things like visual snow with slight hallucinations, paranoia, ideas of reference, magical thinking, and so on.

I was wondering If you guys ever feel like you're split in 2. Like in social situations there's this person inside of you through every emotion and experience that is just empty even though you are talking and living or even smiling. And its like rolling its eyes at you. Sometimes I resonate more with this person or it feels like the truest me. I've felt this way since I was very young. Like im just this thing trapped in this body, and I don't know why I am reacting or talking. And to me nothing I do is real or right when it comes to emotions, a constant second guessing. Like I haven't been living the right way my entire life, like I don't belong here.