How to start getting into my faith again

I am Orthodox since birth but I really don’t feel like it in my heart. Ever since starting college and especially since 2020 I have slowly strayed further away from the faith, never giving it up entirely though but it certainly isn’t the center of my life and God and everything else is an afterthought. It’s so terrible of me, I am so broken and wretched, but I find it so hard for me to pray, I sometimes go to church out of guilt but I go right back to the same mindset and actions I was doing the previous day. I have tried reading some books but they seemed so over my head that it seemed to me that I could read them another 10 times and not understand the meaning or significance. I want to marry an Orthodox person one day but if someone were to ask me about church history or Orthodox doctrine I would not be able to answer. I feel like a fraud. I am so stressed in my life and have so many worldly distractions, not true problems but my stress and distractions make it really hard for me to focus on God and be grateful. I don’t know where to begin to fix this. I have signed up to go to confession next month but that would be after Pascha, in the meantime I feel so horrible when I think about my failings for too long I break down in tears. Please tell me how I should ease into my faith again. Thank you in advance.