I don’t know If I’m being micromanaged and unfairly treated at work in England, or am I overreacting. What would you do?

I’m posting it with further clarity and need advise on my situation.

I’ve been struggling with a difficult situation at work and need some outside perspectives to figure out if I’m dealing with a real problem or just overthinking. Here’s a summary of key incidents:

Initially, my interactions with this colleague were professional and cordial. But over time, her behavior shifted in ways that made me feel micromanaged, undermined, and even singled out.

It started when I politely declined a Christmas meal invitation due to prior commitments. Around the same time, I also mentioned that my family was visiting from abroad. After that things got worse everyday… Given that there are historical tensions between my country and hers, I’ve started wondering if this is influencing her behaviour. I noticed a clear shift in her tone, including passive-aggressive comments and increased scrutiny over my work.

Here’s how things have progressed since then:

1- The following week, she CC’d the entire team in an email pointing out my absence from a meeting, even though she knew I was on approved leave. She apologised later, but it felt like a deliberate attempt to undermine me.

2- She began constantly asking where I was, whether I was in the office or working from home, and even walked around the office to check my desk. This has created a sense of surveillance and mistrust.

3- Unexpected reporting structure change: Shortly after, she proposed to our team director that she become my official line manager. This was unexpected and caught me off guard.

4- After the change, she started assigning me last-minute tasks with unclear or contradictory instructions. When I sought clarification, her responses were vague or dismissive, leaving me stressed and frustrated. (Before you ask: I was still able to provide her with the work… she gave good feedback on that so work isn’t an issue here but she tries to confuse me with further questions).

5- When I showed interest in taking courses to improve my skills, she initially dismissed the idea, saying people only do courses “for fun.” It felt belittling and demotivating.

6- Intrusive questions: During one-on-one meetings, she asks overly personal questions about my family and living situation like “When they going back? Are they living with you..” These don’t seem relevant to my work and made me uncomfortable as I thought she’s asking it informally but when I asked her where she lives, she wasn’t happy and gave a weird expression.

7- Comments about my attire: I wear a blazer or coat because it’s part of the business dress code for my role. However, she’s made indirect remarks like, “Isn’t it cold in the office?” or, “Aren’t the heaters working?” She then implies why she isn’t dressed in layers. These comments felt targeted and unnecessary, as the heaters are always on, and I meet the professional dress code.

8- Exclusion and favoritism: She’s given me conflicting instructions on projects, undermined my work in meetings, and excluded me from resources and information she shares with others. I’ve noticed she supports other colleagues at a much higher level but doesn’t extend the same support to me, even when I specifically ask for it.

9- She also mentioned that she’s preparing me for new interviews as part of my learning… :(

All of this has made me feel isolated, unsupported, and anxious. I’ve started questioning whether her behavior is influenced by cultural or personal biases, as I’ve never faced anything like this in previous roles. I also had to contact the health services to provide me counselling for the stress I’m dealing with.

I’ve spoken to senior management and sought emotional support outside of work. They’ve left it up to me to either resolve it within the team or escalate it to HR if I believe it’s discriminatory.

Have you experienced something like this? How do you differentiate between normal managerial behavior and something that crosses the line? What would you do in my position?