All my months of trying to move on have been fruitless, so far

So it's been maybe.. 7 months post breakup. Since June, atleast. And despite everything I've done, a small part of me still loves her so deeply it refuses to move on.

I ended up meeting my ex the other day during Halloween, and I thought I'd be okay acting like we were cool and still friends, but the thought of her being so happy without me.. The realization I no longer had a place by her side, just really really hurt. It sucks more that I ended up seeing her ig story, where she posted her and a dude, saying "congrats to my sweetest love, Mr UN" which was the absolute fucking worst. Cuz in all the time I'd been with her.. She had never once used the word for me in the 6 maybe 7 months I'd been showering her with love, and it really broke my soul knowing she was capable of using the word for other guys.. Just not for me. It's currently 5AM for me, and I've been crying non stop, so ig I'm back to that now.