My MIL and FIL skimping out on my engagement lehenga and other shady behaviours

So I am a 29Y woman, getting married soon to a guy I am in a relationship with 8 years. My fiance communicated with his parents beforehand that they won't ask for any "gifts" and they agreed. My taayi received a taunt from my MIL that we didnt gift them something (gold coin) during the roka ceremony. My family (being protective of me) called them to say that we are going to gift you XYZ (incl MIL jeweley, sarees etc) during the wedding. My MIL didnt say no and happily agreed. Then my family asked to gift me one lehenga. In our family we have the tradition of the bride getting her engagement lehenga from the in-laws (not the wedding one, like most of families). She called me up disgruntled, saying that they don't have such traditions, yet cuz my family asked for it, they'll get it. I selected one lehenga and they ignored that and started sending dirt cheap options (mind you, they are comfortably wealthy). I felt humiliated again and again. Frustrated I called my MIL to say that I'll buy my own lehenga. My FIL in response said they have a tight budget and will send me the money in a lifafa, and the rest I can chip in. Now I have bought the lehenga myself, communicated it to them and they are not paying even a dime. My fiance had earlier told me they have a history of taking major chunk of their kids salaries (despite them earning 6x of their children salaries.) This is shady miserable behavior. On top of that, when I share this with my partner he becomes defensive and has started blaming me for being an overthinker, money-minded etc. He even said that MY FAMILY shouldn't have offered them gifts. It's my family's fault, not his family to accept them. What do I do?

Disclaimer: I DO NOT WANT the lehenga. I just want them to have the decency to DECLINE the unreasonable amount of gifts my dadi wants to gift them (my dadi fears for my safety after marriage).

Disclaimer 2: I lost both my parents 3 years back. That's why my taya, tayi and dadi are doing the "gift" talk and the riwaaz talk. I am against all of this, this barter system and this money gifting in the form of security for the girl (I am an earning woman)