AIO Recently married, baby on the way and she just shared she’s had genital herpes for 10 years

Me (M28) and my recently married wife (F26) met in college and we have been together since 2017/2018. We are expecting a baby in august and she’s been very particular on wanting C section vs a natural birth. I am 100% supportive of whatever decision she wanted to make since she’s the one doing the delivery and it’s her body. Fast forward to today; we were having a great night. I made dinner after a long day at work and after she went to the bathroom and sent me a long text about finally wanting to tell me she has genital herpes and is telling me because I’ve been asking what her thoughts are on the birth plan.

I feel lied to and betrayed and am reasonably upset. I don’t think I’ve had any symptoms and haven’t noticed anything on her while we’ve been intimate. After doing research I’ve learned it can be dangerous for the baby which is my main concern. Am I over reacting because of the stigma with STD’s or is this not a huge issue and something to move past?

Update; I spoke to her and told her how betrayed I feel. Her reasoning is she was scared and claims if she told me then we wouldn’t be together. I almost lost it at that. To have my decision taken away because of her choice…I can’t even express the words.

My prime concern is keeping the baby healthy. I told her I want proof of the original test results and she said she doesn’t have paper work. At this point I’m demanding both of us to get tested but will have a lingering thought of if it was 10 years ago or when it was contracted.

We have our 17-18 week appointment tomorrow and I was so excited to go as I’ve been to every appointment but I can’t even look at her at this point.

Update 2; Went to get tested, I confided in the nurse who drew the samples and she gave me some reassuring words. Strangers in my Opinion are really some of the best people to vent to because you may never see them again.

to answer some common questions/points; 1- no concern about not being the father. Seems a lot of people have been wronged by S.O’s and I am clearly in the same boat but the legitimacy of the pregnancy is something I’m 100% sure of but she has been very receptive to getting a paternity test which will be done as well.

2-We spoke about her why. Why did she text me and not talk to me. Why did she wait all this time to tell me. Both of these were based off a fear of losing what we have built. She texted me because she was so ashamed that she needed to let me know but knew the disappointment she knew I would have would be something she couldn’t look at. To some that may seem crazy but no one but us knows the full situation. She was scared and let it snowball. As terrifying as the lie is, she has been a perfect partner and when I peel back the layers, we were and are still deeply in love and that is something I am willing to fight to fix as she is very receptive to fixing as well.

3-We received her medical docs and confirmed the date of the original test was 10 years ago.

4-I’m not as upset about the std as I am about the lie for the past X years. It’s something we will be going to therapy about and it’s a relationship worth fighting for in my opinion.

I’ve decided to act as calmly and rational as possible as to keep the health of the baby in mind. We’re going to work on our relationship and the comfort of communication because it’s clearly something we need to.

I appreciate the words from everyone even from the vile comments that really showed me I could be much more miserable! I’ll be keeping this post up for another few hours and delete it to start the process of wiping the slate clean and building new.