Feeling lost as the adult child of an alcoholic mother

Hi everyone. I will try to make this post as short as possible but a lot has happened. My mom has struggled with alcoholism my entire life (I am 22) as well as bipolar & borderline personality disorder. There have been vicious cycles of sobriety and stability, to relapse and mania, and repeat. Her issues got her into legal trouble while I was in high school, and while I had an amazingly supportive father, I spent a lot of time raising myself or parenting my mother. She was in an out of jail for approximately 3 years.

Fast forward, we move to a new state and she starts an awesome business and begins making friends. I graduate college and buy my own home an hour away in an attempt to break the codependent cycle. In the past year she has “undiagnosed” herself of her personality disorder and alcoholism. In the past few weeks she has drunk driven her car into a ditch, disappeared for several days resulting in her best employee quitting, we found many bottles of alcohol hidden throughout her business, and now I am having to regime her dog because she left him without care and he spent an entire night outside alone in the cold.

At this point, I am terrified she will end up dead. She drinks and drives constantly and has a history of suicide attempts. I am an ER nurse and whenever we get an admit that matches her age/condition my heart stops briefly. I frequently am awoken by calls in the middle of the night by family asking me to check her location. I also believe that at this point she could not safely detox without medical intervention, as she got very sick on Christmas because she wasn’t drinking (I have a no alcohol rule at my home). Reading all the AlAnon literature I know I cannot force her or beg her to get help. However, my grandparents have asked me to consider attempting to get temporary guardianship of her, as she is failing to pay her bills and she is putting herself in danger. Does anyone have experience with this?

How do you cope with these feelings of helplessness? Any quotes that get you through the day? Book recs or documentary recs?