Paralyzed with layoff fear every January

*Warning that this is a bit of a rant

Every January I am so terrified of layoffs I can barely work. I can barely leave the house.

Last year when I heard layoffs were coming I couldn’t sleep for three days.

Our company has had layoffs every year for the past three years. While I was obviously not laid off in those years, I have been laid off before and had a year where I was mostly unemployed even though I hustled so hard. Made about 7k in one year ( in the most expensive city in the U.S.) picking up all sorts of crazy freelancing gigs. Lived on a mattress on the floor with a ton of roommates, ate ramen for dinner every night, going to networking events so that I could network and eat the free food - the whole shebang. It was a really tough year and, while I made it through and built a great career after, I think I have some minor ptsd from it.

While my situation wouldn’t be as dire now and I have built up some savings - I’m now pregnant and the anxiety of layoffs coming is so overwhelming. Trying to get another job while pregnant seems impossible.

How do I get to a place where I’m not paralyzed with fear every year? Is this just life now?