Torn between wanting a dream wedding and other financial goals

Kind of venting, but will accept advice and thoughts if you have them :)

I am a frugal person. I don’t come from wealth and that’s given me a bit of a scarcity mindset when it comes to $$. I am, however, obsessed with weddings. Since I was a kid, I’ve loved them and have wanted a dream wedding of my own.

My lovely boyfriend and I are getting engaged next year. The closer we get, the more unrealistic a wedding seems. I want a wedding with a videographer and a decent photographer, with a BUMPIN dance floor, and with around 75 people. Weddings like this seem to run upwards of $20k in the areas we have family (DC, Dallas, KC) and I’m realizing that I don’t know if I can justify the cost.

We want a ring, which will be $5k. We need a downpayment on a house ($80k at least), we both have student loans (mine alone are at $40k) and I would like to take a vacation each year. We have around $60k in savings which we continue to grow but it seems INSANE to make a $20k dent in that for one night.

There are options to make things cheaper - like doing a backyard wedding and having my cousin’s restaurant cater - but I also don’t want to make the day-of a total nightmare for myself by cutting corners at every turn. I think we will have to do a micro wedding or something. It’s going to be ok because I get to marry the loml, but it’s still a bit sad. I’ve dreamt for so long of even just a medium sized, beautiful wedding. Sad to let that vision go.