I’m so tired of being single…..

I’ll fully admit this is a rant riding on my emotions. You can call me an incel, say I’m whining, say “it’s not as good as it looks”, whatever. I just have to get this off my chest.

My last relationship was in October of 2023. Out of the two relationships that I’ve been, neither have lasted longer than a month. I think I know why, and I’m working on those things, but it’s still hard to find someone who actually is interested in me.

I genuinely care and am interested in peoples lives. I sometimes come off as bland or quiet, but I have a good tendency of opening up. A lot of my friends like me for that, they see me as a good guy. Despite this, I just don’t have luck with girls. Sure you could chalk it up to me being slightly socially awkward, or me potentially being “chopped” (I don’t know if I actually am tbh), or whatever. But for whatever reason, it just never works out.

Winter is usually the worst time to be single (at least, in my opinion) due to things like the holiday season, seasonal depression, the cold and sometimes lonely atmosphere, etc.. This has always been hard for me for the last two years, I’ve noticed I get really conscious and sad about being single. This year is no different, but it’s somehow worse. It feels like this year a lot more people around me got into relationships. Like a considerable amount more. It’s been really annoying and kind of depressing to see all of these relationships blossom, while I’m still a seed on a windowsill, slowly rotting. I get that not everyone gets into a relationship in HS, but it still feels like I’m missing out.

I just want to meet someone who feels as deeply about me as I would about them. I want to love and care for someone. And it just hurts me to not have that in my life.

There’s going to be people that say “It comes when you least expect it” Eh, maybe. But I think you also got to put your foot forward in life for things to work out. You can’t just wait around.

People might also say “You need to join new hobbies/clubs, be active”. I am. Very. I constantly try to find new opportunities to meet people and befriend them or just simply get to know them. Am I the most social person in the world? No, but I do try. It just hasn’t worked out for me.

The sad thing is, there are people I want to get to know more, I want to grow a friendship or even start something more, but I can’t. Either they’re at different schools or whatever, but it just doesn’t work out. I know if I tried hard enough maybe it would work, but shit I don’t know how. So I’m just left to drift, hoping Doldrum will hopefully end soon. That’s my rant.