Cheating STBX dosn't want a divorce but dosn't seem to want to reconcile either. In limbo.

Hi team,

Just wanting some advice from the Surviving Infidelity brains trust.

It's been 129 days since she told be she "wanted space" and 28 days since dday.

If you want to read this sordid tail, you can do so here for context: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

As the title says, STBX does not want a divorce but isn't making any effort to reconcile. We are still living together and are basically roommates. House is 50% owned - no kids. Savings etc all seperate already. I believe her behaviour is what is refereed as the "Wayward spouse".. have I got this right?

Her communication is down to a minimun, and mostly via phone messages. Her tone of voice around me is gentle and low.... almost like shes afraid that I'm going to blow up at her one day. (I have never done this in 18 years).

I have received legal advice but I have taken no action. Lawyers are on standby and ready to go. I have all the evidence I need (where we live cheating isn't legally an issue... but good to have if I get accused of making things up)

I do love her but I cannot trust her any longer and don't want to reconcile (second strike... not hanging around for strike three). Her behaviour at this stage seems ridicolous. What's her end game? My only take is that she's hoping I make the first move and then she can say "he left me" while trying to protect her reputation.

Not many people know about this and the two that are closer to her have "defended her".

MIL is giving me the silent treatment so they must be aware of it (she gave me info which led to dday), while the other told me that I shouldn't do anything to hurt her if I love her and I should just walk away... haha

I've not been broadcasting her behaviour to more people (only a select few of my friends know about it), as I refuse to be the victiim and just want to to move on with my life. As a result there have been no consequences for her so far and I believe this is a factor in her behaviour.

However, she cannot simply think it's going to go away and be forgotten about surely?

Has anyone been in a similar situation and what was the outcome?

I know what I need to do... but not sure how hard I should swing that bat, thats all.

Thanks team.