Wife of 14 years (married 9) cheating

I found out a week ago that my wife has been cheating on me with a guy she met at work. She doesn’t even know him other than the few hours they spend together a week at work. Apparently they haven’t slept together but have kissed and had an emotional affair.

It feels like she has thrown away her marriage and family on the fantasy of this (married with kids) guy.

I’ve tried to be a good husband and father to our children but can’t get over the betrayal, she shows little remorse and it seems like she won’t commit to me until this other guy categorically says he won’t leave his family for her.

I don’t know why she did this, she has turned into the women she has warned me about and she doesn’t seem to even care. How can I ever trust anyone again!?!

I saw a text to him that sounds like it was written by a teenager expression how much she loves him, it seems like a total fantasy.

I feel like I should tell his partner but don’t know her or him well enough to have contact etc.

I honestly don’t know if I would forgive her even if she showed some remorse, but I feel like if she did it would because I was second pick. I feel like a moron if I stay, but I’m scared shitless of being alone for the rest of my life.

Please help me think about what to do, I moved countries and started a family with her and don’t have any support network here. (Gave it all up when I moved and it’s notoriously hard to make connections in the country I am in)

I’ve posted on another sub but have been told to try here too.