It truly just sucks not being able to drink

I started having an unhealthy relationship with alcohol around the time of my divorce. Drinking 750mls of 40% liquor in one day easily. Sometimes even more.

Found this subreddit, quit my high stress job and did a lot of positive things and then was off the stuff for almost 3 months. My goal was to push until the end of the year and then reassess.

I did so so good, I was going to clubs and social situations where the urge to drink was crazy and I’d just be sipping my 0% beer and actually having a good time.

Then the year ended and I decided I could try alcohol again but it’s been a long bender since. I feel so shitty knowing this is just something I can’t experience. Even one drink just leads to another and then I wake up the next day feeling shitty and hungover.

I’m such a smart, intellectual person and it feels so shitty I’m just going to have to live my life without ever having a drink with the boys.

I know what I have to do which is stay on the wagon, and I will. But man it sucks to be defeated by something as mundane as alcohol