71 Days today

So this is normally when my mind starts to play tricks on me and I relapse… I have been here so many times it’s embarrassing (especially when I count my chips). But I can say right now in this very moment I still do not wish to drink.

I got fired from my job - I did not drink

My ex-wife left me again and said some pretty hurtful things this time saying she will never trust me and that she has had no intention to have a child with me and that she now wants a family (there is more but I’ll leave it at that) - I did not drink.

I have been scrapping by with bills and am even late on some stuff - Still I have not drank

There are other stressors in my life of course but those are the main ones that would have caused me to relapse. I’ve gone to therapy a lot this last month and have learned some hard truths about myself and others. I also picked up doing social work and actually HELPING people for a living and it had brought me genuine joy from a job which I have never experienced! Money sucks though haha

All and all if you are struggling it’s okay. It’s okay to fall down, it’s okay to fuck up, and it is okay to be human. What is NOT okay is giving up. Reach out. Call someone. Be honest with yourself.

Today I am sober and struggling…… But I am at peace and my mind is quiet. I would take this feeling over being drunk anytime.

Reach out if you need someone to just talk to. You are not alone.

If no one has told you today YOU ARE LOVED!