I have to stop

Throw away account. I've been fighting the creature for years now but ever since the pandemic it's gotten so much worse. It has gotten to the point where I'm drinking at work, I'm hiding it, well trying to, there is no way they don't smell it. I'm pissing away money I don't have. I'm getting mean. If I don't change now this is going to get so much worse. If I get gas I buy beer. If I see a liquor store I stop. I need to stop. I don't expect anything from strangers on the internet but it feels like admitting this is the first thing I need to do. This stuff is awful.