what’s the difference between faith in yourself, the universe and a “god”?

admittedly i have a lot of religious trauma. but recently ive been struggling to differentiate between religion and just my trust in the universe. what’s the difference between these two ‘faiths’. the more i speak the more i hear myself sounding like a religious fanatic and i feel like the lines becoming more blurred for me. my main differences were the lack of force/conversion, idgaf about converting anyone, i don’t believe in a ‘one truth’ - i don’t believe in this one size fits all basis of religion that we all must be a certain way. i have faith in the universe and that everything happens for a reason (to an extent, i don’t use this principle to justify abuse, mistreatment or general suffering and misery) and that the universe definitely works in favour but then i also struggle to fall for that completely because there’s so much genuine evil but i also don’t know that if that conversation in my head is coming from a place of religious programming in itself because of the life i’ve had and the abusive christian’s i know. i’m struggling to separate possible programming from spirituality. i’m lost on the difference at the moment.