Breaking point

When is it ok to “let somebody have it”. When I get angry, people always say I’m being Tom sensitive or dramatic. So in turn, I try to edit myself and really pick and choose my battles. At the same time, how can someone tell me how I should feel or what level to feel it at. Am I not in control of my emotion or finally at the breaking point where I don’t give a fuck. Please tell me I’m not the only one