got my heart completely shattered with a hammer

classic situationship of i loved her for months and months while she wouldn't commit and i was so patient with her and really did just want to be with her and she would just kept saying she wasn't ready but she really did like me and then BAM she meets a guy and they're together instantly

of course i crash out and now she's mad at me to boot for saying she chose someone over me when it does feel like that's what happened. i didn't even say it in an angry way i just wanted her to know how i feel

i think the friendship is over and i want to cut it off but she won't even talk to me now. i'm so fucking humiliated

i just really wanted her to like me. i'm oscillating between feeling like i need to be strong and resilient about this and feeling like a kicked puppy