Downsized, rif'ed, or eliminated months before retirement? How did you cope?

EDIT FOR THANKS: The post is now locked but I wanted to say thank you to everyone who took the time to share their experiences, great advice, or a kick in the pants. This outpouring was overwhelming and so very much appreciated. Thank you!

Hey Folks, looking for some words of wisdom from folks in my situation.

I will turn 65 in June and I had planned to retire at that time. I was at a senior level in the organization one step down from executive leadership. I had not told my organization of my plans because it was super toxic and I did not trust them. Well, my instincts were right!

Two weeks before Christmas my position was eliminated due to financial hardship. Translation: the leadership has been indulging their egos with vanity projects and the organization is now in dire financial straits. As you can imagine, Christmas was not the holly jolly holiday I had expected it to be. Instead of wrapping presents and drinking eggnog I was frantically trying to find health insurance and figure out other stuff I thought I had 6 more months to address.

My partner retired in December after a successful 40+ year career. I had been planning a retirement party for him for months and it was so wonderful to see people come from states away to celebrate him. This past weekend we attended his annual corporate function where he was recognized and acknowledged for his many contributions to his field. I do not begrudge him one iota because he deserved it all. But....

I am so angry and hurt and sad that my career (which I dearly loved until the last 2 years under this leadership) was snuffed out like a candle. Instead of going out on my own terms, I was thrown away like a bag of garbage. Instead of a retirement acknowledgment, I got pitying looks or colleagues that avoided me because they did not know what to say. The past month since this occurred, I find myself weeping unexpectedly for no reason and feelng a sense of dread and free floating anxiety all the time.

I am normally the most positive person so I'm really struggling right now. So far the "every day is Saturday" happiness that I expected when I retired in June has eluded me. I had planned to spend the next six months getting emotionally ready to wrap us my career and transition into a happy retirement.

I don't even know what I am anymore. I am not ready to say I'm retired. So I'm telling people I've been RIF'ed. I know this too will pass and eventually I will wrap my head around this. Would love to hear from others that had a similar experience and how you found your new normal and got your mojo back.