Title: Need Advice: (33M)Husband Wants a Divorce Over (33F)my Surprise Bachelorette Party That Happened Years Ago

Hi everyone,

I'm in a really tough spot and could use some advice. My husband and I have been married for several years now, and we have two beautiful children. However, our marriage is on the brink of falling apart because of something that happened before our wedding.

A bit of background: My husband and I had agreed not to have a bachelorette or bachelor party, as well as not to have a wedding. He felt strongly about this because I had already experienced these events in my previous marriage. I, on the other hand, wanted to have them but respected his wishes- or wanted to at least.

One day, my friends surprised me with a bachelorette party. I had no idea it was happening, and when I arrived at my friend's house and found out, I was genuinely surprised and flattered. It made me feel loved and valued, and for the first time, I felt like I truly had friends who cared about me.

I told my husband about the surprise party as soon as I got home. Unfortunately, he was extremely upset. He couldn't talk to me in a calm, rational way and buried his feelings. Over the years, the issue came up occasionally, leading to yelling, accusations, and him calling me a liar. The conversations weren't productive (I have struggled with communication since childhood however, I'm working on it and it's greatly improving).

Now, after all this time and despite having a happy and safe family life, his feelings have resurfaced, and he wants a divorce over this. I don't know what to do. I love him, and I want to make our marriage work, especially for the sake of our children.

I'm also hurt that he would marry me and have children and then decide to end it for something I did in the past.

I can't change what happened.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? Any advice on how to approach this and possibly save my marriage would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for reading and for any help you can offer.

*He would like me to add the following: "I wanted to call off the wedding before the wedding. And you slept over that night, when I told you it was weird, you insisted it was ok that you sleep over."

He also says this event has caused him ongoing trauma every time he attends a wedding or bachelor party. *

Update You guys are the real MVPs! After pouring my heart out and asking for relationship advice, we have finally cracked the code of my husband's unresolved trauma. It turns out that all this time, his intense love for me and guilt about robbing us of these wonderful experiences manifested as... well, you guessed it, Reddit! 🎭💔🔄 Thanks for helping us uncover this twist in the plot, and for being the detectives that saved our marriage (we hope!). Now, off to plan our next unexpected party!