my bf(23m) gets constantly upset that i (24f) don’t cook for him. it’s confusing.

when my bf is upset he often says very disrespectful things, i can get into that in another post or something but one thing he’s been mentioning is about me not cooking. Correct me if i’m wrong but ……. 1- we do not live together. he lives with his parents. 2. his mom cooks for him almost everyday. 3. i don’t really know how to cook much.. i know i’m 24 i should know, i wasn’t ever taught but i do try here and there when i have time AND the energy. ( i’m an esthetician & i run my own business. i work almost everyday. sometimes i’ll finish late but even then. i just finished working. i do not feel like cooking and waiting for the food to be done when im starving and can get something to eat outside. i would love if i knew how to cook and had energy. 4- i’ve cooked for him before like 3 times & baked a cake for him before. i understand it might not be much but i’ve tried. 5- i feel like he compares me to his friends gf’s cus they do everything for them but they live with their partner.

that’s what i can think of right now but these are some things he has said when he’s upset.

  • “why don’t you cook?” “i’ve cooked before” “ no , don’t say you’ve cooked before you don’t cook for me” && “you don’t cook for me all the time(it was something like this)

  • he also said while upset, “ you don’t do anything for me, you don’t do gf shit” i’ve tried my best to do things for him and put him first since the moment we started dating. but anyways i asked him.. “what don’t i do?” he said ; cook, do his hair often, & serve him a plate when we go places… i’ve done his hair before yes i don’t do it as often at all but i’ve detangled his hair more than 5 times & i’ve styled his hair more than 3 times. i’ve served him before on thanksgiving in my house last year, i didn’t serve him at my family’s bbq, i offered and he said no he’ll serve himself. there was one time we went out of state with his friend and his friends family. i didn’t know anybody there at all. i’m very shy and introverted. his friends gf served her bf , she feels comfortable in the family of course because it’s her boyfriends family. i didn’t serve him that day okay i could’ve. i’m always at his house. there’s been times i tell him to come to my house and he doesn’t want to.

i’ve said things like your 23 learn how to respect & he said you’re 24 learn how to cook. how are you 24 and don’t know how to cook.

tldr; boyfriend is constantly mentioning comments when he’s upset about me not cooking. but i’ve cooked for him before. his mom cooks for him almost everyday. i’m always busy. he’s almost always free. what’s your opinion?

EDIT: i did surprise him before and learned to braid so i can do his hair because i wanted to so i think i see the frustration with me not doing his hair as often due to this. i do love doing his hair, it makes me feel close to him, its not an issue to me to do his hair or help him detangle it when he’s having trouble but it hurts he said i don’t do anything when i have tried before and done those things i do not do it as often as maybe he expected me to since i did learn. just wanted to give u guys a bit more details so it doesn’t seem like i’m portraying myself to be amazing. once he’s not upset anymore he does apologize and says he basically didn’t mean certain things, etc. he wouldn’t mention hurtful things about me not cooking before but i’m not sure what happened that he’s mentioned it about 3-4 times now i believe. i’m not sure maybe he compares his friends relationships to ours.