Can't forgive my partner

Ugh we are struggling. Second mmc in January after 14 months of ttc following the first one. This time I knew how mentally effed up I'd be and what to expect physically so I took time off work. I was very naive the first time. My (34f) partner (40m) was a part time student and about to start a new job at the time. They had taken moooonths to onboard him and he had been basically ignoring a self paced class for quite a while as well. I begged for him to push back his start date a week to be with me while I waited for the worst to pass. He refused. He spent a week that we both had off together basically hiding in the other room because he suddenly "had to" do his school work. And then he went from not working to being gone 40 hours a week . I miscarried alone on the couch even though he was in the house. I sobbed and screamed and begged for support and he just would not. Anyways now I simply don't forgive him and it's ruining our relationship. Any hint of disregard for me and I am filled with hatred. It took him a long time to acknowledge how damaging his behavior was for me. He still kind of tries to defend it. I just feel like if he couldn't put me first when I was very clear with him that this is literally the worst moment of my life and I need help, then what are we even doing? I know he was probably trying to cope too... But selfishly I still feel like the miscarriages are just harder on me. I'm the one physically going through it. I'm the one who has to do all the ultrasounds and horrible tests/exams to explore why it's happening. Unexplained of course. So I just don't have sympathy for him. I feel like I only read about couples who handle this as a team and grow close through these struggles. But we are falling apart. Is it just my grief that's clouding my perception? Was it the hormones? Are we just not a strong couple? Are we infertile because we're not meant to be together? Idk what I'm hoping for here but I'm lost.

TLDR, partner basically ignored me while I was miscarrying and it has altered the way I see him/made me fall out of love and now I'm lost.