What do I do

Hi so I'm a 15f and a teenmom.So I need advice on this cause my grandma said I shouldn't just forgive and forget. Basically I was in a relationship with a 17m and I only found out recently that his 19.Anyways Like i said Im a teenmom but the thing is I think I was r*ped Im not sure cause the my ex(Caleb-not real name) told me that's how people have sex What happend was there was times where we had sex and I felt uncomfortable and I told Caleb to stop he would hold me down and continued.After a while he forced/manipulated me by telling how I don't love him and stuff. Last year in April I found out I was pregnant.I was really scared cause Caleb always told me he pulled out on time.But after I gave birth he told me thaf he got me pregnant on purpose. What I need advice on is what I should do because I want to talk to someone abiut how I feel but my I told my grandma n she said I shouldn't cause he will go to prison and my baby would have to grow up without a father. When I look in the mirror I feel like an object n ugly cause I let love blind me.And I hate myself cause my baby was brought into this world not my love but by selfish reasons. So..what should I do Should I get over it or talk to someone about