What are hoovering tactics you experienced? I’ll start with the clusterfuck I’ve now endured…

After moving countries and needing a new start I’m now focusing on the healthier side of my family because my narcissistic, alcoholic, and abusive father, along with his enabling girlfriend, have escalated their behavior to a ridiculous and deeply callous level. If I don’t laugh, I might cry. Here’s what they’ve done: • Threatened to cut me out of their will (as if I care). • Coerced others to contact me: They got my aunt and their neighbor—both of whom know me—to send “concerned” texts and voice notes. The messages seemed supportive, but I knew they were driven by my father’s smear campaign, labeling me as “crazy” (apparently, that’s his view of all women). • Used deception to target me: His partner, who is clearly after his money and wants me out of the picture, contacted me using a fake Facebook profile. I blocked and deleted her immediately. • Spread lies: They’ve fabricated stories about me to relatives, friends, and anyone who might listen. • Engaged in manipulative contact: My father calls at inconvenient times (like bedtime) and alternates between being overly nice and outright nasty in his messages. • Made threats to invade my privacy: They’ve even threatened to show up at my workplace or home. She also went through my handbag when I was there briefly and my father defended her …

The betrayal feels insurmountable and seeing him for who he truly is has left me feeling unlovable and shattered. Despite this, I refuse to let them win. …. question is: How can I help well-meaning friends and family see them for who they really are? I am in therapy but seem to be getting nowhere in my thoughts that this will never heal and I’ll feel unlovable and damaged for ever ….(I’m 31)