Do you ever just have this deep longing that your narcissistic parent would just genuinely love you?

I literally sat in my bedroom and cried last night because I had this deep longing for my narcissistic mom to just genuinely love me and I know she never will. It breaks my heart. And everything I went through with her just replayed in my head over and over again. What do you do with these feelings? How are you supposed to replace your own parents who are supposed to love you?