So apparently I’m 4m pregnant

I’m 20 and my boyfriend is 21. Yesterday we found out I’m 18 weeks pregnant through an ultrasound, and we are completely shocked. Honestly, we don’t know what to do. Our options feel like they’ve dwindled down to almost nothing.

Here’s where we’re at: At 18 weeks, my only abortion option now is a D&E (Dilation and Evacuation). If you don’t know, it’s a procedure where they open your cervix, suction out amniotic fluid, and then remove the fetus piece by piece. The procedure is really invasive and can increase the risk of infection, not to mention damage to my cervix, which could cause problems with future pregnancies. To be honest, I’m terrified of this option, and so is my boyfriend. Neither of us wants to go down this path.

The only other choices are:
- Raising the baby with no money, relying on family help,
- Or adoption (but we’d both rather keep the baby if we can).
The problem? We’re really young, unestablished, and broke. Plus, I’ve done almost everything wrong during this pregnancy because I had no clue I was 18 weeks along. And to add to that, I took the abortion pill in late October/early November, thinking I had terminated the pregnancy. I bled a lot, but it wasn’t clotting, and I figured it worked, especially since the pregnancy symptoms faded.

However, I started noticing signs that something wasn’t right—especially a strange pressure in my uterus when lying on my stomach. I thought it was just digestion issues, but after drinking some tea and still feeling it, I decided to get an ultrasound.

The ultrasound results completely shocked us. I thought I was 7 or 8 weeks, maybe 9 at most. But nope—turns out I’m 18 weeks pregnant. The ultrasound showed the baby’s brain hemispheres, face, arms, legs, and even its heart was beating at 143 beats per minute. It was moving around, stretching, looking like a real little human being. My mind just couldn’t process it in the moment.

So here’s the dilemma: On one hand, I’m scared. We’re young, unprepared, and struggling financially. On the other hand, this baby is real, alive, and growing. They’ve got organs, bones, and are starting to sense things. Even though D&E is an option, I’m struggling to come to terms with making such a decision. What if my baby’s health has been compromised because of the things I’ve done? I’ve drunk alcohol, smoked, eaten raw fish, had unpasteurized cheese, vaped, and taken spirolactone (which could affect the baby’s development). The ultrasound tech said the fetus looks healthy, but I’m still so anxious. I want this baby to have a good life, not struggle because of my mistakes.

So I guess what I’m asking for is: - Are there any resources, programs, or financial assistance for young people in situations like ours? - Any advice or wisdom from people who’ve been through this? - How do we make the right choice when everything feels so uncertain?

This is all still sinking in, and I just don’t know what to do next. Appreciate any help or insights. Thanks. P.S please don’t make this a debate on pro life/choice or make this religious.