Induction and Disappointment

I'm 40+2 today and had OB so I got the induction conversation today, as my OB doesn't let you go past 41+1. I'm scheduled to go into the hospital Monday night to get things started. My doctor offered to sweep my membranes today as well, which I agreed to.

Last week at 39+2 I was barely 1cm dilated and the baby had not yet dropped.

Today I am 40+2 and I am still barely 1cm dilated and the baby hasn't yet dropped. My doctor is a very nice man and I like him a lot so I know he was only doing his job but it was excruciatingly painful getting checked today. He did everything he could to be gentle but it didn't do much good. He told me he tried really hard to hook my cervix with his finger and pull it down so that maybe he could get a finger in there to do the sweep but he couldn't. I kept tensing up and curling away because it hurt so bad and the poor nurse that was supervising was almost too small to help hold me down.

I knew I was probably going to wind up getting induced, I've had no sign of labor nearing. I'm just so disappointed. I wasn't expecting to be told I was 5cm or anything but I'd hoped I'd at least be 2cm or 3cm dilated, and to be told that there hasn't been a single change in a week just hit me hard. I know it's nothing to be ashamed of and I'm not ashamed, my body knows better than I do, but I had just hoped that after a really bad pregnancy maybe, just maybe, this part would be as its supposed to be.

I'm very uncomfortable, a lot of pain in my back, hips, and legs. I'm exhausted all the time. I felt so good yesterday and today I just feel so blah. I'm trying to look on the bright side: I'm healthy, the baby is healthy, but I'm having a hard time.

Maybe I'll feel better after a nap, because potato soup isn't working and neither is the cookie.