How do you navigate polyamory having HSV. Feeling a bit hopeless

How do you navigate , polyamory as someone who is HSV+ of course disclosure is important and I always disclose . When doctors say that the mental and emotional stress is more detrimental then the condition itself it's so true . I have made peace with my diagnosis but subconsciously I shut down , this diagnosis only made my anxiety and depression worse .

Sex isn't the be all end all for me but it was a way for me to bond with people , now I am afraid of getting close to someone , it's also effecting the relationship I have with my husband . Do I just stop living life as a polyamorous person and just remain monogamous.. or just stop having sex ...yes it seems drastic but you can pass the virus even without an outbreak .

As sex positive and educated as the community seems to be , people's actions have spoken the loudest . I understand no one wants an STI , but there is no reason to be rude about this .

I also value platonic relationships and don't mind one but I am not sure if I can totally cut myself off from intimacy .

I am at a loss of what to do and honestly feel hopeless .

I am speaking with someone who seems like a great guy , he isn't worried about having HSV as his previous partner had it and he remained negative , but I feel like nuking this before I get feelings for him ...