Fiancé sexually assaulted me (update)

He knew I was uncomfortable during sex yesterday when I “gave in” after he harassed and guilted me to have sex with him. I said “I turned around bc I couldn’t even look at you” he said “I know.” He admitted to dragging it out and therefore raping me until he finished inside me. He then said my face will haunt him for the rest of his life. When I asked why didn’t he stop when he knew I was uncomfortable and not okay with it? He said being inside me felt too good and he didn’t want to stop. He chose to hurt me.

The fact is he knew I was completely uncomfortable. he was okay with having sex with my body when I was clearly not engaged at all was all I needed to know. I told him I deserve more than a man that will say he loves me and then rape me. When you love someone you don’t treat them like that.

This was someone I waited 13+ years to be with. Who after 13 years I felt I finally met someone I would be with forever. Who I loved, trusted, cared for, and respected. It’s not just a betrayal. It’s a complete loss of the last 13 years of my life I’ve spent loving this man.

Just the worst thing to deal with while being a nursing student. A rape, and a broken engagement all at the same time.

I let my professors know and I have a meeting with a sexual assault counselor to go over my resources and support so I don’t hurt my GPA. I got my official invitation to join the National Honors Society at my school. Despite all this I’m still going to finish my degree.