No-Contact Was My ONLY Option — Anyone Else Been There?

Hey 👋🏻 (35F) here,

I recently went no-contact with my mom (and by default, my dad), and I’d love to connect with others who’ve done the same. If you’ve been through this, I’d love to hear how you’re handling it—advice, experiences, or just knowing I’m not alone would mean a lot.

The Backstory

My relationship with my mom has been a rollercoaster for as long as I can remember—highs, lows, and a whole lot of control. Even as a kid, she made me believe I had a severe learning disability. Turns out, I have ADHD, but by the time I found out in my 20s, the damage was done—shame, low self-esteem, and a constant feeling of not being good enough.

By my teens, things got worse. She’d spy on me through the walls, criticize what I wore, and have explosive meltdowns—slamming doors, stomping, screaming. Meanwhile, my dad was always working, barely present, either by choice or because she made him. On paper, I had a “stable” home, but in reality? I was walking on eggshells every single day.

The Breaking Point

Over the last couple of years, I just couldn’t fake it anymore. My parents retired, and suddenly, my mom had way too much time to focus on guilt-tripping me. Nothing I did was ever enough.

After yet another blow-up, I sent her a long, heartfelt message in September 2024 explaining that I needed space. Her response? A single ❤️ emoji. No acknowledgment. No conversation. Just that.

Since then, it’s been one manipulation after another: • Fake health scares about my dad. • Guilt-trippy holiday texts. • A full-blown meltdown when I refused to go pick up my childhood belongings myself. (I hired movers instead, and she completely lost it—stormed off, screamed about me on the phone, then sent me a raging text.)

That was it. I blocked her. I blocked my dad. And for the first time in my life, I feel like I can breathe.

Where I’m At Now

It’s been a week and a half, and the anxiety is already fading. I’m finally focusing on therapy, healing, and figuring out what life looks like without this constant stress.

For those who’ve gone no-contact—how do you handle the guilt and outside judgment? Any tips for working through this in therapy?

Would love to hear from anyone who gets it. Thanks for reading.