Give it to me straight

I need help because I think I'm becoming delusional. I have this crush let's call him Antonio. So Antonio and I have been speaking for some time and I'm completely into him, in fact I'm so into him until I'm starting to become uncomfortable because this isn't normal.

I think he is starting to notice it and he's slowly pulling away. Here's the thing, I haven't met someone like him before, I have met people I like but this is different. I have only ever felt like this for one person and he is the second.

Here's another thing, I don't want him as my boyfriend, I don't see him as someone I'd want to spend the rest of my life with lakini I'm so into him hadi nafeel nikama nachizi. I have always said no to other people lakini huyu nashindwa na nikama anaiona. What is this? And am I being desperate? Give me hard truths maybe nitareset.