Advice Needed or Validation

I have a shaky relationship with my in-laws. More so my MIL, l've posted here previously before. She is emotionally attached to my husband and he's been essentially parentified by her or a surrogate spouse. She's constantly put me down, my parenting, what I feed my kids etc. she has told me I need to direct my husband because he's clueless in parenting often putting him down. When my husband met me, he was separated from his wife (she was abusive toward him and controlled him and what he wore) he wasn't happy. When we got together his parents have blamed me for tearing apart his home though there was never any cheating, they were separated. They blame me for their granddaughters not having a joint home with their bio parents and how they are so different now because of the divorce. She has said I'm a gold digger only being with my husband to get "my bag". I've tried for my husbands sake to get along with both his mom and Dad and generally his dad isn't an issue but he does enable her and backs up her side everytime. They even helped my husbands ex wife gain emergency custody of the children when he left his wife and proceeded with the divorce, it was like a punishment to him though I'm sure they all believe it was for the kids best interest. (Unforgivable type stuff). We now have 50/50 and everything's great. However, she recently said that I did not love my step kids because I didn't attend their gymnastics class and that I am unsubportive. When I confronted her. she said "I thought you were a more of a help picking the girls up." Mind you, I full time work from home and take care of our 1 year old I share with my husband and I have primary custody of my 7 year old from a previous relationship. Being pregnant and just over the constant disrespect I've chosen to cut off my inlaws. The most recent incident, I reached out to my husbands dad to help me pick up one my husbands daughters from daycare and I asked that it just be he who helps me. I had gone no contact with my MIL and everyone knew that. He essentially said he'd be happy to help but it would need to be both him and my MIL and I need to txt them on a joint thread so we make decisions TOGETHER. I told him "no thanks. I'm not comfortable with that" and told him I wouldn't be reaching out again. My husband thought there was nothing wrong with that and I hurt his dad's feelings possibly by saying what I did. My husband has become severely depressed over my choices to now cut off communication with his mom and even his dad at this point. He thinks cutting anyone off is something unhealthy but says he also understands why l'm doing but also thinks it's horrible. Essentially, it's almost causing us to separate because the entire days are filled with this drama and I'm the one being punished for having an issue with being verbally abused by his mother and throwing up a boundary to protect myself and my unborn baby. I feel very strongly there was always a dislike on MILs end and toward me for whatever her reasons are and now l've seriously considered cutting my off contact with her and my 3 children while she can maintain contact with my husbands other 2 daughters because they are his ex's children with him and I don't control that. I don't trust people around my children that do not respect or like me for safety reasons. On top of that, the in laws will make plans with my husbands ex wife and go to places with her and won't even tell us. I'm not saying they need to ask us but even a "hey we are seeing the kids today!" I just feel like it's super shady.

I know it's likely my husband and I will need to go to therapy and counseling over these issues with his parents but they are an everyday constant for him and his "best friends". My husband often makes remarks like "I thought things would be so different between you and my parents when we got together." From what I understand, his mother has often caused issue in my husbands friendships and relationships because there's a huge codependency issue.