How does MD help your depression?

I'm about to start microdosing soon. I've done a macrodose once and it shook me but ultimately was for the better. I got in a really dark place but got out. However my day to day life still feels empty and hard. I wake up everyday feeling exhausted. I want to do things but I feel tried and heavy. And sometimes I can't do anything and end up sleeping all day if I don't get up.

I currently am in therapy and was diagnosed with cPTSD recently. I started getting in the gym 5-6 days a week of heavy lifting. Trying to get cardio going. I just got a manager position at my job and I'm working on a side business that's starting to pick up. I eat healthy and supplement with high EPA Omega 3s, vitamin B12 complex, and magnesium glycinate for sleep.

On the surface I'm doing great. But on the inside I don't know why I'm doing anything. I feel like 2 halves. 1 half is super nihilistic, and the other is driven and ambitious. Im not spiritual, and just don't know why I do anything. Going to gym makes me wonder why do it if we all die, but then another part of me says why not do it.

I'm wondering if MD has helped with this? Nihilism and depression overall. I just can't find happiness and feel like I'm just a bot going through the motions. Half the time I want to sleep forever. I feel exhausted but a part of me wants to do more. Please share what MD did for you. Thanks :)