I genuinely cannot get over how much dislike myself

I'm 16 almsot 17 right now and I feel like everything i've been doing since 11 has been annoying. It's so weird because it's like i'm aware how socially awkward and annoying I can be but I feel like I can't control it and no matter cute and effortlessly perfect I try to be like other girls, it never works for me. Same with academics, I will never be as intelligent as my friends. Same with dance, I will never be as good as my sister. But why is it like this? Why can't I be better? I don't think it's all confidence because I've seen people in much more emotionally unstable states than me who manage to make themselves not appear as such. They can still think and talk clearly and not look like a stupid idiot or someone who looks punchable. I look annoying when I'm happy and sad. I hate even looking myself laughing because it's so annoying compared to the average person or dancing because I look so awkward and unnatural doing it. How do other insecure people still manage to present themselves so well ? How are their flaws not as obvious or ridiculous looking as mine?