i hate feeling like this

(15m) in my life since i was in 2nd grade ive been extremely sad almost everyday, I get made fun of everyday since 2nd grade im (5'5) and ive been made fun of for how i look. When i was 6 i witnessed my parents cursing eachother out and my dad left and i didn't see him for a while, and when i was 13 my grandma and grandpa passed so ive really have very few good things in my live and considered kms when i was 13 cus i felt like nothing went well in my life and nobody liked me my own friends bullied me everyday. nowadays because of school ive been so anxious and sad and scared to socialize and it ruined my freshmen year. Honestly with girls ive been humiliated so often whether its because im 15 and look 6 or because im short, and i see everyone happy around me and ive never had love nor kissed a girl and ive grown even more depressed every since, i seriously need help nothing seems to be going right and ive been having bad anxiety and depression for tooo long now..