To him, my low confidence is the problem

My PA often gets frustrated when I express to him how I look nothing like the women he gets off to. I don’t know why I expect him to validate me (it means nothing) or tell me I’m enough, but all I hear is ‘No one can be attracted to a person that is so under-confident’. How does one feel good about themselves after seeing hundreds and hundreds of videos in their partner’s watch history? I don’t think they realize what this does to a person. I cannot look at myself without picking out my flaws. The women he gets off too are all beautiful, very young, and have amazing breasts and everything else. How does he expect me to feel good about myself? All I can now think of is that there is a standard and I will never be that, I will always fall short.

Everyday feels difficult and I’m starting to lose interest in living. I feel inadequate and pathetic. He chose them over me and expects me to feel confident in myself.